Bring the Pain

"Burnout is less a sign of failure and more that you gave yourself away" - Mark Gorkin

The wisest woman I know advised me to just settle into the ride. "It's a process," she proclaimed, "it's gonna take some time for you to get back on your feet, and you can try to fight it, but it won't get you anywhere."

Design school 2010 is out. I am so scattered. My creativity is just not there... and a person can't force creativity.

Turns out I don't really like being poor either. It's stressful, and my refusal to look directly at our bills doesn't help. Sideways glances doesn't mean the bills don't exist, it just proves me to be poor and stupid.

Life just isn't as peachy as I would like it to be...

Is anyone's?

If you get kicked down over and over again, but can somehow find beauty, joy, hope and contentment when you're closer to "the bottom" than the top- what kind of statement would that make?

Sometimes things get tough and we're forced to deal. So much feels out of my immediate control and, most likely, things will get worse before they start getting better (short term pain for long term gain right?). While I might be at the mercy of lousy pay cheques, fall-out from my burnout and stagnant creativity- I do have control over my attitude/out-look (as annoying as it is).

So I'm raising my half-cup of tepid tea: here's to the pain, here's to the poverty-line income, here's to feeling slightly lost.... bring it on.

My goal is to find contentment here, to soak-in every blessing- because life will never be perfect, not on this side of heaven- so to live this life well I must learn to accept what cannot be forced and revel in the simplest of pleasures.