Even though I should be trying to be good with my money right now, I'm in denial. Quirky, silly stuff is my downfall. Today I bought Scotty a $3 "Obama" t-shirt from one of the million "ABC" stores because I thought it was funny. Suze (the author) would probably b---- slap me.
I'm not feeling burnt-out any longer and there's a big part of me that it ready to jump back into those crazy work weeks, even though I would most likely find myself on a crash-and-burn course in 3 days. I think a big part of it is that I am worried about having free time. I know I need to have a game plan for all that empty space in my day planner (anal much?). I'm hoping to compile a list of all the things I wanted to do but didn't have time for as well as all the things I wanted to try but was too chicken (triathlon? dance classes?) and then I'll let that overly-organized part of myself loose to set some mini-goals so that I don't have so much empty free time (to me: empty free time=wasting time doing nothing=depression=being struck in a rut). I want to make the most of these moments God is giving me. I've never felt more rested than after working on something I'm truly passionate about and/or finding a little adventure. I know I need to approach my job and life differently, I need to make sure that my "off time" allows me to recharge my batteries so that I can bring more to the table with the girls I work with, to my friends, family and husband. God has really been putting it on my heart to be more intentional. I don't want to miss out simply because I'm stretched to thin.
We went to a Christmas Eve (actually it was the eve of Christmas Eve) service at New Hope church. About 10,000 people attend (hence the eve-eve service) and it was easy to see why. They have a huge list of ministries that members can get involved in including, creative design, dance ministry (from hip hop to hula), jujitsu, prison ministry, surf, and video/play production just to name a few. The Christmas Eve production featured singers, hip-hop, hula dancers, drama and my favourite part was when two guys came out on the electric guitar and did the Trans-Siberian orchestra "Christmas Canon." Domi and Ang said that one of the past productions featured the skate ministry and they had a half-pipe on the stage! To get an idea of the kind of productions this church puts on, you have to watch this video (click here mom) and be prepared: the you might even feel the Spirit move through Youtube... I think a huge reason why this church is growing so rapidly is that the congregation is so involved (Domi was part of the outrigger canoe club)- members can discover their passions and gifts (outside the regular musical and drama gifts that most churches value) and meet other people who love God while doing it (I think a lot of churches can learn from what God is doing in Oahu).
Anyways, at the Christmas Eve service the pastor said, "A lot of you put so much effort into making a living that you never make a life." My eyes immediately started stinging and I had to bite down hard on my tongue. That one line stuck with me and I've been turning it over and over in my head ever since.
I don't believe anything to be coincidence. Hawaii isn't just a vacation, God has been doing much work in my heart leading up to coming here. This time will serve as a break and the opportunity to step back from my life and really examine it in light of the Spirit pushing me to live intentionally rather than simply survive- to make life and not just a living. I've been so bogged down that I couldn't see what needed to be changed... God is beginning to show me that.
He needed to bring me to broken so that I could see that this isn't working.
(** didn't that video give you goosebumps?**)
I may have welled up a bit during that video...I do think there is something missing here in NA churches - namely the creative aspect. I'm excited for your year Chels, as you learn to hear God's voice in music, dance, and sketching :)
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was it during the dove part? I totally cried in that part.
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