Sometimes the Hard Thing and the Right Thing Are the Same.

Is it too much to ask that there be a decent paying and somewhat interesting job out there???

I've been in a bit of a funk today. I let my boss know that I'm burnt. I called him and just burst into tears. I don't know if he could hear much of what I was saying through all my blubbering, but he understood my heart.

Never in my life have I ever been so emotional about giving my notice. When I broke the news to the staff member coming in to relieve me last night, tears started spilling onto her cheeks and I reprimanded her (I'll only be boss a little longer, gotta make it count) because she was getting me started all over again.

I am an emotional wreck right now. I know that I am doing what is right, but the people I work with and for have been family to me. There has been such an intense bond formed between all of us. Everyone has poured their hearts and souls out... it has been so much more than a "job" and it is so hard to know that soon it will all be a memory.

I think it's also that I have kept everything bundled up deep inside, and finally being able to step back and realize how I am really doing; being made aware that the time has come for me to take a bow has opened up those floodgates. January will be the month of tears. I kinda picture myself as Alice in Wonderland when she almost drowned in her own tears. I am just glad I'm a strong swimmer.

I've applied for a handful of jobs, but none of them have me anywhere near as excited and nervous as I was for this job. The pay ain't great either (yes mom, you were right, life sucks if you don't finish school). It seems so dumb to go into debt working at a job you don't care about.

Then Scotty said, "why don't you go to school this fall?"

I had thought that I would continue to work for the next 2 years and get him through school, but $12/hr isn't gonna do that for us.

One of the things my finance book has taught me is that too often young people get distracted by the money that they totally miss out on the one thing that we have over our parents:

Time.

There's always time to make money, but no matter how much money you make you can never get time.

In an ideal world I would be able to maintain 80 hr work weeks and pay for Scotty's school and put $ aside for design school, but I missed that day when they were handing out "ideal."

So I did it. I've applied for the Fall 2010 semester and I might just take that mindless, poorly paying job and work like the dickens on my portfolio over the next 4 months.

Or maybe I'll get that office position at an architectural firm downtown (which would be perfection!) I've applied for.

... who knows what'll happen.