Coincidence that they were the ones to say good-bye? I don't think so.
When I arrived at work last night, it was like the ministry was giving me one last kick in the ass. Twin sisters, reunited after 9 months apart. 14. Not street-entrenched to the least. Plan was to move them into a permanent home together. Thrilled. I've never met two people who balance each other out more.
They weren't the same person. They completed each other. Their personalities were very distinct. One was hard on the other for hanging out with bad influences. The other got on her sister's case for being rude to other people.
They were each others' security blankets.
On Wednesday the "puzzle master" was at work and said that the girls (who were making progress) couldn't stay with us one more month (until new placement for them opened) because we were an emergency home and the beds needed to be made available (funny how the kids who have complete disregard for the rules are left with us for 4-5 months).
So the answer is to split them up and put them in two separate towns in homes with very "street entrenched" youth to influence them and bully them for the next month.
My head exploded when I heard the news.
What makes it worse? There were no kids waiting for the beds.
I cannot even begin to say how many times this has happened. A pretty innocent kid is thrown to the "wolves" or a kid who is beginning to "buy in" and begins making some positive changes is immediately ripped from our home and put somewhere totally wrong. It's as if they're being set-up to fail. And the people making these decisions just see open spaces and the kids are pieces to fill those spots.
It doesn't matter that it isn't really the right spot for the puzzle piece, the "puzzle master" will just force it, and I swear that often they are damaged beyond a simple repair. Now they don't really fit right into the spot that they were designed for, and they're easily displaced by the slightest breeze.
And so many of them end up under the couch.
I was reminded what the absolute worst part of the job is. Not being able to do anything about crap like this. Hitting red tape all over the place. Not having any one person to get mad at. Diffusion of responsibility is the "Ministry for Children and Families'" middle name. Don't get me wrong, there are many people in this line of work who are solid gold. I work with and for them. But when you try to find out who made that bullshit of a decision, you just make your complaint out to an office, not a person, and when you try to deliver it, you get a "full mailbox."
Oh, I could vent about this all night long my friends. But the truth is, I believe there are people at work in the system this very moment who will change it. I believe that there are people who will never really burn out. They'll get frustrated and get exhausted, but they are made for the battle. I believe that things will change because there are people who won't allow this broken machine to keep lumbering along chewing up and spitting out kids who need help- and the workers who try to help them. Some of them are in school, and have yet to get their feet wet, but I believe that things will change.
Perhaps I will start writing some letters and harness all my annoying energy (remember how much I annoyed you Thayne?) to get people aware. To get people angry. Maybe I'll lead an angry mob. And we'll join with these "soldiers" I see working their way in to this evil machine and we'll all start screaming until someone gets annoyed.
That said, I will never forget these kids. They have touched my life in a profound way. They've changed me. I am thankful for every one of them (even if they shortened my life span and given me stress wrinkles). I won't stop praying for them, and I know that I will be involved in some way (encouraging the people who work this thankless job is a start). They need a voice. They're the "orphans" in our backyard... never ceases to amaze me that people are always running off to Africa to help the orphans... when there are so many here who have no one (if you've ever met a person who honestly has no one, you know what I'm talking about, it's haunting).
I know that I will reflect on these past three years the rest of my life. Perhaps I will remember it at the greatest job I ever had because it was the job that transformed me.
I got cards from all my staff today. They are one of the biggest reasons why it is so hard to say goodbye. There's a special bond made when a small group of 20-somethings are trying to"parent" a drug-addict, gang member, sex-worker, criminal-offender who has every reason not to trust people who say they "just want to help." Tears have been shed. These women are incredible.
Here's the kind words these "soldiers" had to say on my final day:
"Thank you so much for everything you have taught me. You are an amazing
role model to these girls and have given 100% from day one. I wish you all the
best in your new future and career, I know you will be the best."-L
"I always learn a billion things about life, youth, the system, etc, every time we chat. Thanks for your positive feedback and insight. I hope to be like you in the way that you work with and serve these youth." -V
"Thank you for all you have taught me. You have been a role model to me, you will always be the heart of this home..."-T
Poor young things, society is really to be blamed for this.
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